Saturday, July 01, 2006

The Importance of Being Ernest (Hemingway)

Act III

An Adaptation by Evora Tangeline
(With Aplogies to E. Hemingway and O. Wilde)
(And special thanks to M. Labar, who did grad work on Gertrude Stein.)

NOTES ON CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES
LADY BRACKNELL: She is a woman of ample proportions, the ultimate in a dowager of literary society. Lady Bracknell never lacks for words, and she makes every word count, savoring each one down to the last syllable. She dresses in frumpy black shirts and gowns.

From ACT III

SCENE: The scene is a steamy Mexican terrace. It is a bright, cheery porch.

MISS PRISM: I was told you expected me in the vestry, dear Canon. I have been waiting for you there for an hour and three quarters.

LADY BRACKNELL: (sitting on a sofa, surrounded by paintings by Picasso). Prism!

MISS PRISM: (bowing her head in shame). Lady Bracknell!

LADY BRACKNELL: Come here Prism! (Prism approaches her in a humble manner.) Prism! Where is the baby? The baby in your charge. In the perambulator, the perambulator with the wheels that go round and round. The wheels that go round and round in the perambulator in which sat the baby, the baby in the perambulator.

MISS PRISM: (falteringly). I admit with shame that I do not know. I only wish I did. In a moment of mental abstraction, I deposited the manuscript in the bassinet and placed the baby in the handbag.

CHASUBLE. What do you think this means, Lady Bracknell?

LADY BRACKNELL: I dare not even suspect, Dr. Chasuble. A monster puzzle, a heavy choking, a neglected Tuesday.

CECILY: (glancing toward a sudden sound). Uncle Jack seems strangely agitated.

CHASUBLE: Can't hold his emotions.

LADY BRACKNELL: A sound. (The clicking of castinets are heard overhead again. Everybody looks upwards.) Elephant beaten with candy and little pops and chews all bolts and reckless reckless rats, this is this. (The noises stop.)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Surprise, the only surprise has no occasion. It is an ingredient and the section the whole section is one season.

mlabar said...

and round and round the wheels they go. the wheels are round and they go around and around until they stop.