Wednesday, January 31, 2007

bit part

I think I've done it! Moved from fantasy to the quest of an attainable dream.
First of all, let me innumerate my tragic assortment of paradoxical qualities. For one, I jabber without a single eye-blink before vast crowds (for better or for worse). Assigned a chapel seat "down front" in college, I realized, one morning, I was still standing when the organ cranked up the service. (Picture this in slow motion ...) I turned, looked behind me at five thousand of my peers, all looking my way. Whoo! Wow! I grinned, I waved, I finally sat down.
I also have a fair dose of audacity. And a ... secret longing for the theater. Enter the tragical paradoxical: I have a "tin ear" for acting. So, it's a pitiful whine of a longing, never to be fulfilled. (Though my parents were in plays, and took me to innumerable plays growing up.)
Auditions after auditions, from Cheaper by the Dozen in the tenth grade, to Into the Woods, a few months ago. So many, that the audition's kind of become "the thing." If an audition-reviewer had been there, this past summer, he'd most-definitely have noted my rousing rendition of "Rainbow High!" from Evita at the Little Theater.
This past Monday night would have been the pinnacle of my auditioning career -- to become my alter ego, Aldonza (Man of La Mancha). Aldonza, who sings, "kitchen slut!" and all manner of thrillingly despairing lines at the TOP of her beautiful lungs. The Aldonza I listened to as a child, over and over (my parents had the record). Doubtless, why I am so warped.
But I didn't go, Monday. Because, you know what? I think I actually, for real, might like a go at the stage. Just once. Which is hard to admit, because I have friends who are the real deal (maybe I'll sneak off to another state).
But just to taste it. Once. To get it out of my system. A few weeks in those mysterious shadows, behind the red curtains.
I may blaze with the fiery spirit of Aldonza! (ha!) but, with my ability, I wouldn't truly enjoy trying to play her on stage.
This year, 2007, I want to aspire to something real. A bit part. Which, to me, would be more thrilling than the breathless silence of an audience, just subjected to my heart-wrenching wail of a woman, "spawned in a ditch, by a mother who left her there; naked and hungry, and too cold to cry." (I can't say I blame her, I'm sure she left hoping that I'd have the good sense to die.)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If anyone should have the opportunity to play Aldonza, it is you!.

Emily said...

Saar, you do know its 2007 right?
Or was that inclusive in the 2008?
Anyway, I think you'd do pretty well on the stage.Maybe I should listen to Man of La Mancha and then maybe I'd understand the Aldonza thing ;)

Tangeline said...

Oops! It's probably subconscious. Maybe I will put it off another year ... !
No -- Aldonza's just this thrilling character who sings about being a kitchen slut spawned in a ditch. (Which really just sums it all up, except that Don Quiote (sp.) still sees her as a valuable, lovable creature.)

Tangeline said...

Actually -- it is a great musical. Yes. Get it from the library and listen.

Cindy said...

I love musicals! :) I can see you acting easily, but it's kinda funny because you come across shy sometimes too.

Well, tell me when your play is when you get a part someday, and I'll be there on the front row cheering you on! :)